How Not To Date Your Husband

Date Night – do you do it or do you think it’s overrated? It had been 2 years since me and my husband had been out on our own without the kids. If you’re a married maid like me I’m sure you can appreciate how rare a nice date night is. So, we booked a table and a babysitter and went out for a slap-up meal.

10 year wedding anniversary

In two months’ time I will have been married for 10 years. Like most people, we’ve been together longer, so it’s 13 years altogether. We used to go out a lot. We’d go to the cinema all the time, we even had monthly passes. We’d go out to eat together just if we fancied and with both of us working and just one cat to take care of it was easy to do. We went out with our friends every weekend. Things have changed on that front since having our children and it hit me a couple of weeks ago that it had actually been 2 years since we had been out together!

We went out to a local Italian restaurant. I had been there before with friends but Rich had never been. We knew it was within running distance of the house. It worked out well that we could walk there and back and both have a teensy drink too. I wanted to wear something nice and make a bit of an effort but it was cold and as my mum used to say ‘You can’t make a silk purse of a sow’s ear’ so I wore jeans as usual and just put extra eyeliner on.

That thong, th-thong, thong, thong

It was in the getting ready that my contemplation began about the term date night. It really was not like dating at all. It started in the daytime, making sure the baby didn’t nap too long. I started getting ready at 5pm so that I could do the baby’s bedtime. Instead of wine and music and thongs I struggled with a pair of spanx, which I’m now convinced are too small for me. Realising he could probably find my naked body in a line up with a blindfold on I realised the futility of the spanx and thought I’d rather enjoy my meal so took them off again. Already it was more like a scene off Bridget Jones than anything else.

When you’re dating you’re trying to get a measure of someone else. Trying to find a snapshot of that person’s life and seeing if you would fit well together sharing life. When you’ve been married for ten years you couldn’t know a person more. I would just feel like a twat trying to do flirty conversation with Rich, he’d look at me stupid. Also there’s nothing I can ask him about himself that I don’t already know. I could chart out this man’s bowel movements. I know he likes football, I know he’s kind and caring. We’ve spent the last 13 years side by side. I know what he’s capable of. Equally, he can tell if I think the person two tables over is being too loud, if I don’t like the food or I’m trying to stifle a laugh at someone who just tripped over. More than this, I can’t hide from him if I am bored out of my wits with the conversation!

A shared sense of humour

Luckily for me, I married good and this fella makes me laugh so much (when we get chance to actually finish a sentence or two between us). We had a nice time and after -I must admit- an initial sort of ‘oh shit what am I going to say’ when I realised I had no fall backs, I relaxed into it and enjoyed myself.

We were only out for two and a half hours, and as I’m sure is quite normal we had one of two little beings still awake when we got home but it was totally worth it and it definitely filled up my cup. Walking home I thought I would rephrase ‘Date Night’ to ‘Keeping in Touch night’ and he was already talking about planning the next one so I can’t have been too boring either!

Date Night

 

If you liked this post, you might like to read one I wrote about how me and Rich work as a team even though I’m a SAHM.

4 Comments

  1. 23rd January 2018 / 10:12 pm

    Ha, I love that – keeping in touch night!We don’t do it often and it feels weird for a bit when you do! It is nice to just be you for a while though isn’t it x

    • 23rd January 2018 / 11:41 pm

      Yeah, I’d joked that it might be awkward, wasn’t actually expecting it to be though! I felt like I hadn’t been out of the house for 5yrs which isn’t true but that was how it felt! Was nice in the end 🙂

  2. Samantha
    24th January 2018 / 7:00 pm

    This is beautiful Kate. Xx

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